> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://emberbirdy.ghost.io/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # 2025: Do The Thing That Scares Me - URL: https://emberbirdy.ghost.io/2025-do-the-thing-that-scares-me/ - Published: 2026-10-26T05:42:45.000Z - Updated: 2026-10-29T01:12:54.000Z - Author: Ember Bland 2025 was a year of taking a chance on myself, and building local community. Let's start with a message I sent to my musician friends back in February 2025: > My theme for this year is "do what scares me". I'm trying to take more risks and commit to more stuff that *may* be a "waste of time". Instead of worrying about it all, I'm trying to push myself to do more of what I think is not possible for me to do normally. I had a lot of hope going forward. I'd just applied to school again to give my music degree a second try. I knew I had a leg up on the usual high school graduates, given it wasn't my second rodeo, but I still really lacked confidence or assurance in myself and my abilities. I think this theme came from a real desire to see myself be confident in things, rather than feeling controlled by the social anxiety that definitely defined my middle-high school era. --- Last year, 2024, felt like such a success for my confident life: I was a homebody ambivert who had US friends to visit and get my furry side satisfied. I knew I could do commissions, I was working at a music studio, and it was fun having a regular group of online friends to reunite with. I didn't like that I felt kind of stuck renting apartments, working a part-time job, and living in a postage stamp with my partner. I really tied my personal worth to how much money I could make, which was not much given my difficulties staying on task and having to manage my emotions and stress levels. I liked that I had my occasional moments of escape; A nice pond to walk by, coyotes to check on in the field, and person I loved to live with. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/ac/17/ac17e980-ec7e-423d-b735-55d089491ac4/content/images/2026/10/PXL_20250606_015702850.jpg) A sunset over a grassy field out in Nolan Hill, NW Calgary My desire for furry community was strong, and it was not being met in Calgary. Especially after getting to meet [Will Scuttlefuzz](https://scuttlefuzz.bandcamp.com/?ref=emberbirdy.ghost.io) and company in person back in 2024, I missed those talented musicians and community-makers I got to call friends. That's part of what made me feel so connected to [indieAnthro](https://indieanthro.com/?ref=emberbirdy.ghost.io) and the [stoopTalk](https://open.spotify.com/show/2ErpT0WW9FnPLzJRARCMTI?ref=emberbirdy.ghost.io) podcast, knowing it was part of something real and larger. In my eyes, I saw a real *scene* happening out in Boston and Seattle. The English-speaking furry internet was doing good too. *(Twitter was actually good for something in 2024!)* Back in 2024, things felt like they were stable. Travel and being social in-person felt possible for me again after a long pandemic. As long as I could afford plane tickets, I could continue to feel like I was part of something bigger. That was, until I heard about serious border measures increasing in 2025, which [unfortunately seems to routinely get worse in current year](https://www.ctvnews.ca/canada/article/arrests-and-detentions-of-canadians-spike-in-the-us-travel-registrations-surge-too/?ref=emberbirdy.ghost.io). I had grown so close to my US friends that I accepted I'd only see them once a year, but I really looked forward to those visits. Now with US travel in limbo, I really had to ask if it was worth it to keep visiting these people at my own risk. I'd planned to see everyone at AC 2025 over the summer, I'd booked plane tickets and accommodations, and figured I could "play along" with border patrol's excessive demands to get myself into Pittsburgh. But I *really* mulled it over for a solid month (with killer anxiety) as I had to decide if it was really worth it to try going. It caused a bit of a rift between my partner and my family as they were deathly afraid for my safety. But like, this was my whole social life. I had not much here except my friend Valerie. Right? In the end I came to realize that it didn't matter what I did if they could arbitrarily choose to detain me. So after a very tough month of changing my mind every night, I chose to cancel my bookings and stay at home. There was actually a Modest Mouse concert on the night that I would've flown out. It was a weird externalization of my conflict represented in how I spent that day. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/ac/17/ac17e980-ec7e-423d-b735-55d089491ac4/content/images/2026/10/PXL_20250703_034058523.jpg) A flashy image of Modest Mouse performing at the Jubilee in Calgary, the night I was originally planning to fly to Pittsburgh I thought 2025 was going to feel like a let-down of what I wanted to see materialize after 2024's huge highs. So imagine to my surprise that Calfurry, Calgary's first ever full-scale furry convention, was having its first public event in 2025\. I thought it would be fun, and I was really looking forward to having another con experience, but was afraid it wouldn't feel the same without my Boston friends. Without the convenience and surprise of getting to meet so many of my online friends like I did back in 2024\. Low and behold, it was amazing in its own way, and was something I wouldn't trade for anything. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/ac/17/ac17e980-ec7e-423d-b735-55d089491ac4/content/images/2026/10/PXL_20250518_211357077.jpg) Skunk Hotel performing noise music with an electric guitar in a convention meeting room, surrounded by audience members wearing fursuit heads and holding up phones to record the performance. A ton of my local furry friends (and many who I hadn't met yet!) wound up conglomerating into a couple of groups where I got to really get to know these people so much better. I got to meet a drummer who helped me get my band Daryl Dee & The Chickadees off the ground, and was a real motivating force in helping me adapt my old material into a live performance. I became well-acquainted with two incredibly close friends who I love to go creature-mode with. I got to reconnect with the friends I'd made at Fur-Eh like Robin Hearts, WereWING, AnimalPerson, HungryMoose, and others. > *Sidebar:* I originally thought 2026's theme would be "[G.E.T. - L.I.V.E. 'AIGHT?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmjlZQdNFe8&ref=emberbirdy.ghost.io)" as a push to get me to perform my music live, and really be unafraid of putting in effort to make something spectacular happen for other people. But then my friend and drummer came along to help push me toward that sooner, and now I've got a good couple of shows under my belt featuring my own curated list of bands, including one concert with 2 set of my own original music! The best part was, as soon as the con was over, the party kept going with my local friends. We were hanging out every other day for a whole summer. It felt like the same highs as being on my gap year after high school, going downtown with my gang of friends to hang around the city, breathe second-hand smoke, and do whatever together. Except this time we were all in our mid 20s, going on camping trips, having parties together, biking together, and going to the arcade. I felt young, free, excited for life, and full of social fulfillment. Far beyond what I had settled for with my usual amounts of "alone time" between the highs I had in 2024. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/ac/17/ac17e980-ec7e-423d-b735-55d089491ac4/content/images/2026/10/PXL_20250706_050042484.jpg) Me, giving a peace sign, wearing a shirt with a glow-in-the-dark bird-alien creature. My face is obscured by the frame, and the alien glow is prominent under the blacklight. I think these people I got to meet during Calfurry 2025 are the reason I had such leverage to actually act on my goal of "Do The Thing That Scares You". Instead of making up a reason I couldn't go downtown on no notice, I'd just go. Instead of being afraid of taking up a friend's time, I'd invite myself over for no reason. I tried to look past the things that gave me shame and just push onward to what I wanted to do. The leverage came from the kind of personalities in that friend group were conducive to. One friend was always super happy to stand out, host parties, and lend a positive ear to everyone. Another friend was trying to host outdoor events like bikes and camping often, and really lived by their goal to make their life as interesting as possible. I really took inspiration from the both of them and tried to weave it into my own life, seeing them as the example of what it meant to live with vibrance and without fear. To have agency over oneself and seeking out your best life with the time you have. So I like to think that 2025 was really productive for working on me, as a person. I officially started calling myself an extrovert after 27 years. I actually had to learn how to handle a regularly busy schedule, and how to block out time correctly so I wouldn't be overwhelmed with things. I embraced being a silly animal and making bird noises. I pushed myself to stay up later and go on longer hikes than I thought was possible. I felt like I was climbing a mountain of energy and couldn't see the peak, and I was exhilarated to know I wasn't getting tired. ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/ac/17/ac17e980-ec7e-423d-b735-55d089491ac4/content/images/2026/10/PXL_20250720_012235299.jpg) HungryMoose playing an acoustic guitar and singing for a row of sitting attendees in a hotel room. Lights and electrical tape surround the space. WereWING's fursuit head is seen on the sitting chair in the corner. I also...actually did a lot of scary stuff. I hosted [my first hotel room show](https://linktr.ee/roadkillfuneral?ref=emberbirdy.ghost.io), and did my first solo hyperpop show, sure. But like, I started talking about sex with people, after **years** of being completely bottled up about it. I started attending relationship therapy with my partner to rebuild and fortify our foundation. I stopped saying "that's for next year" and just went and did it. I broached hard conversations, I sought to make myself uncomfortable for the sake of pushing past the complacency. Even where the year didn't go perfectly for me, it felt like a year where I saw where I was at, what opportunity I'd been given with this new amazing group of friends, and made full use of the theme I'd set for myself. I really couldn't be happier about it.